🌾 Transform Stagnancy into Stillness

Stop shoulding all over yourself.

Today smiles at me with blue skies and a 75 degree breeze.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a grandma writing to you. “Sunny today, which is a refreshing change from how rainy this summer has been.” It hasn’t felt like Summer to me, and I’m not sure if it’s the rain, or me regaining footing being back in New York after living in Arizona last year. It’s only been 6 months I remind myself. A very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

Recently I discovered today’s poem, Self-Care by Solmaz Sharif.

I love that she points to religion and wellness with slight tongue in cheek questioning. But it sounds to me like she’s really asking the questions, “have you?” (Perhaps implying, did it work? I’d really like to know).

The poem has a similar sentiment to the ending monologue of my first one woman show which begs the question, when will it be enough? After you try all the tips and tricks and you’re s t i l l n o t H E A L E D ???!!!!!! THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?

Because rose hydrosol won’t make your father say I’m sorry.

And smokey quartz won’t erase 2 decades of an eating disorder caused by the advertising you’ve consumed since you were 10.

Try as you might, your adult coloring book won’t change the fact that rent is due.

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I wonder if feelings of restlessness and stagnancy can serve as an invitation.

Yes, actual stillness, but also permission to ease up on trying so hard.

Identifying what feels like really works/is working, and letting go of the stuff that’s not IT (right now).

Your commitment to your own radical self compassion is your greatest assignment.

Try to quiet the outside voices or other’s opinions. Most people are on autopilot and operate from deep fear. You can pass this along like a calm creek current.

Stagnancy can feel unbearable.

I am in the thick of this feeling myself. Praise be.

I return to my gratitude list. I inch back towards my movement practice. I let grief continue to show up when she needs to. I opt out (literally, unsubscribe and unfollow) to the voices that aren’t contributing to my peace.

I eat dessert.

I shop for my wedding dress.

I take the ride.

This week…

Eat: Cake.

Listen: Hozier’s Del Selby (Part 2)

Watch: Heartstopper (season 2)

Read: a poetry collection resting on your shelf.

Thank you for reading and being in this space with me. It’s become my favorite online room to share in.

Just to note, if you’ve been wanting to book a coaching call this month, I still have spots available for the next two weeks before I take a break :)

If you’ve been craving a space to be seen, and support to clarify your path ahead— find a time that works for you.

I look forward to connecting over a session.

Much love,

Caitlin